weather check..

The snow is slowly melting and the Flowers are slowly becoming visible,The Motorcyclist are out riding there Harleys (Bikes) living in Illinois again it seems the weather never seems to please me.

When I lived In Vegas it was constant always HOT.. Didn't always agree with it being one season 12m in the year.

But living in Illinois again it is four seasons sometimes I think this is great then we have the Ton of snow that would make anyone scream for warmer weather.. This past winter which I'm not sure winter is completely over yet for this year, But I can always hope .This past winter we got 12 inches of snow in One day..

I always said when I lived in Vegas that I missed the snow I missed the seasons three years now Im mostly posative that I dont miss it anymore :-)

Depending on someone or riding solo ...

Have you ever depended on someone? 

Haven't we all depended on someone at some point in our life?
But what if that after it all you learn to depend on them and there either taken away from you or walk out of you life what then? You pick up the broken pieces and move on with your life.

I learned at early age that depending on that one person who you would have never thought would ever turn there back on you, made you a million Wishes,a million Promises, and they never came through instead they walked out of your life and You had no idea why ,Was it because you weren't the sister they wanted you to be,or were they afraid that you would turn out better then them?Was it because they thought I had all of dads attention and they weren't the only one anymore.. Or was it in some sick way because well they didn't want to be in your life,so they left no warning no reason,they just did. 
 Or what about the guys in your life you would depend on the boyfriend but it wasn't the best idea I've ever had. When they would walk out of my life or I would walk out of there's I was back to depending on what felt like the only person I could. MYSELF

I mean lets face it I depend on my parents they raised me they gave me life. I depend on my family because well they have always had my back and well honestly Family Sticks Together no matter what. Well maybe not always.. 

Depending on myself sometimes is just easier,no one to let me down,no one to hurt me,no one to yell at me and say your useless,You don't work hard enough..etc.. Just myself and I give myself enough grief, enough stress.. But sometimes breaking down those walls and letting someone in is  hard,I'm not sure it ever gets easier and that's the truth.. When you have been burned by someone you love,someone you looked up to, something inside of you switches,and that's when you start building a wall around your feeling,around your heart and you learn to depend on yourself and not let anyone in..Just knowing you well not let yourself get hurt,Not again..
I was always taught forgiveness, But I look at it this way I forgive a part, but I don't forget and that's the hardest part. 

I say this .. If you can depend on the ones you love your family your gf, your bf, your husband,wife, mother,father,brother,sister,Uncle,Aunt,Cousin,Grandpa,Grandma,ETC.. whatever they might be to you.If you don't have those things or you cant depend on them then Depend  on the ONLY PERSON YOU CAN AND THAT'S YOURSELF.

I got lucky,I have a great family,ones I depend on to lean on,ones that I know well never let me down. Not everyone is that lucky,not everyone has there family to depend on ..