A Look into..

As I sat with a friend talking last night about what I had gone through since I was 19, the people I have lost and even talking about losing that part of me, I didn't see hurt in his eyes or even sadness for me, I saw respect that I could pull it out all on my own.We talked about the stress in our lives, Our Jobs and the careers we have. I told him alot about how I got to be the person I am right this second. He told me that he was happy that I had dug myself out of my whole and made it out all on my own. For once when I told my story I didn't get awww thats so sad or painful. I heard respect in his voice and he told me his story, It amazed me how long it had been since I had someone listen to me with respect and someone I wasn't related to see that all the stuff I had gone through had gotten me to right now. I told him about my friendship with Abby and how I wish I could change the moment are friendship turned sour and fix it. I told him about how some of the life I led in Vegas, we talked about our Economy. Talked about how afraid we are for people more and more losing there jobs and people losing there homes. 
I didn't tell him everything but I did realize that he is the first person. I've been comfortable enough to tell things to since I lost Schuyler. Sometimes our conversations get a little off topic and we jump on to something else but not much different then telling Schuyler the stories .
It was funny to me how much I feel a part of me can trust him, and well that scares me more then him knowing about my past,or the kind of person I was. 
The need to tell someone else about my past about the person I am right now so they know that I didn't just come to be this way. Guarded.....
I told him that once I lost my grandpa and Schuyler I was a mess and I soon fell into depression that I had to find a way to pull myself out. I also told him that it took me a year to do it,A year of Depression.. and when I said that I didn't see pain in his eyes he just simply looked at me said You learned you had to pull yourself out and find your own way and sometimes god puts people in your life and things you least expect for a reason. 
I know looking at that reason now I understand or at least a part of me does, But back then years ago I would have said they were crazy, and that I couldn't get why god would do this..
But talking to him telling him things I don't share with many others made me believe that I could learn to trust again or atleast let him in slowly.. Very slowly..
For a hour and half we sat and talked.. It was nice , The time ran late, but it didn't seem late It was nice to have a conversation,It was nice to see the one sitting across from me starring into my hazel eyes and his blue eyes starred back at me..  A look into my past, his past..A Future of the unknown..A great Conversation..It was what we both needed..