Today I saw this group of soldiers every where I looked ..Men and Woman in uniforms.(staying at the place I work)
From a far I pretend it was your face..


Up close my eyes were watery,and tears soon fell down.




I wanted to go up to them and say thank you,but I couldn't get the guts..These men and woman leave there families and friends and there homes to fight this war. Some die for are safety,and the safety of there brothers and sisters in arms.

Today I looked at this crowd and thought I saw your face,and then you would soon run up to me and yell surprise I'm in Vegas! Then Hug me and tell me you've missed me.

But as a single tear fell from my eye I knew it wasn't true..
I was always so proud of you,and I'm so proud of all my other friends in Military.But I'm afraid to lose anyone else..

February 24, is less then a month away.. Seeing the soldiers today reminded me that its been almost a year..Almost a year we lost someone as special as you,We lost R HOMETOWN HERO.

Not a day goes by I don't hear a song and think Schuyler would love this,or a song that just plain old reminds me of you. We always talked and I miss that. I know I'm not the only one..

I love you Schuyler ALWAYS have ALWAYS will..never forgotten

Changes..

When you think things are getting better,Life throws you a curve ball.
I woke up this morning and all I could think of is how things have changed,how much Ive changed.
Im 26 now,and in the past 6 years Ive lost my best friend(my child hood friend)Abby Dana,Ive lost my Grandpa John,and a man I loved so much,who was a great Soldier as well Sgt.Schuyler Patch.





The other day I was talking with My grandma Carol she told me that Grandpa Don(the only grandpa I have left) was going into a heart surgery, he would then have 6 bipasses and a valve to his heart fixed,since then he made it through the surgiers but in the last few days he has been my grandpa..Stubborn. He wont listen to the docters or nurses and because of that he is still in ICU.
Im glad that he is getting better just wish it was going faster so I wouldnt be so worried about him...I love you Grandpa Don.


I wanted this new year(2010) to be a GREAT year,but my past keeps comming back. Even though things have really changed for me since 2003,with the whole moving to vegas and losing the people I have loved,I always thought one day Id get back there..Id get back to me..The happy girl who smiled through everything in life. I never thought that after April 22,2004,happened because that is when everything went down hill,I lost some of the most important people in my life after that..


I try really hard not to dwell on all the bad stuff thats happened since then,I try my best to live the life I know they would want me to.But some days hurt more then others.

Then I think of all the good things that have happened since then, the Birth's of my best friends babies,who I love as if they were my neices &nephews...(there not related by blood but my best friends r close to me as my own sister)(so there related lol)

I have been single for about 4 years,and Im one of those people who is very set in her ways,my past relationships have swept me off my feet,and kept me wanting him to come back,and when he would I didnt know how to let go,but this new year I promised myself&my heart that It would finnally be over.And thus far Ive done well.

I just hope the rest of 2010 is better then the last 2 years...Thanks for Reading!

Goodbye 2009

This year for me has pretty much been a world wind..A roller coaster by far.

I lost myself this year,I went from always knowing what I wanted,to losing everything I ever wanted.

I lost my Friend,and someone I loved so very much in February and I feel that i haven't been the same since.

I went through depression this year,and I hope I never have to go through that again...

I'm ready for this year to be over,maybe I can finally pick up the pieces Ive let fall out of place and pick myself up the only way I know how.

This year I made it to a year as a sous chef one of my biggest accomplishments in my life thus far.

I turned 26 this year,I'm only 4 years away from being 30 oh dear god...

I fell out of love with a guy Ive been in Love with for 4 years.

My family has been my rock especially my grandma she well never know how much her comfort and concern and love for me has truly helped me over the years..

Amy contacted me this year for the first time in 17years I heard from someone who has been out of my life for 17years,my emotions ran high,and not in a good way.

I lost myself this year and I hope in 2010 I get me back...



thanks for listening :)

HAPPY NEW YEAR

Bring on 2010

One year has already passed by..Miss you papa

One year has passed by,*10-19-08* I cant believe how the time has flew by,everyone tells me that it gets easier as the years go by some have even said that the days get easier,but everyday I think of how fast time has seem to fly by,where does the time go?




One day you were here,giving me hugs and telling me not to sit on Ur knee so I wouldn't break it,and we would laugh..the next minute I'm in Las Vegas and I get a call from grandma and you and your saying I miss you and love you baby.The next night I get a call from my dad saying you were no longer with us.


I remember that day but after that for a few months things were pretty cloudy.I never thought that life would be this hard..I didn't know if Id ever go back to being the Hedo arie you once used to call me.I walked around in clouds and thinking of all the things you ll never get to see or do again.Then I thought about what your defiantly doing up in heaven(Parting with a Milwaukee beer in your hand and enjoying watching over us)

When I went home in June 2009 I could barely go in your house(The house you and your brothers built with your own hands),or be around your chair you loved,I didn't want things to have been changed I wanted you to be around I needed you to be there.Our Family needs you to be HERE. Grandma needs you...Its not fair that god got to chose it was your time go,Because I never got to say goodbye or that I love you so much papa...

For months I was angry,I screamed at the Sky's believing that it was God's fault,that he is the one that made me feel this loss..this pain.I wasn't ready to have you leave..Its not fair,I miss you being here..I miss you teasing me about sitting on your lap,or taking your false teeth out and scaring the crap out of me with them...I miss you papa...
People that say Time heals all wounds... But they never lost a grandpa like you.

It just doest seem possible that it has been a year ...A Year ALREADY..where does the time go?

I remember going home,I remember having to say my goodbye's I remember how hard it was for me to walk up there,and I remember trying to be the strong one for my mom.

I miss you everyday and every second of that day your always on my mind..I know now that it was your turn to go,and I'm not mad at god anymore I understand he wanted someone as special as you.

I'll NEVER ever forget you I love you always.

Your Oldest Grandchild(and first Granddaughter Hedo arie)

Street naming

Today October 3,2009

Was the day they made it official.Your sign..Your name as a street sign...

Everyone that I knew was there,except for me. I saw some pictures of your sister&dad reveling.. the name,Ur sign....For you well never ever be forgotten,This I know..I know that this well be in so many hearts for years to come and everyone well know who SGT.Schuyler Patch was..What he meant to so many,and that he went down fighting like the true Hero we all knew and Loved.

Its been 7months and I know that time is passing by,and I keep looking for you to get off that bus,But then I come to realization,your bus has already made it home..and then I realize..7months ago you came home,Just not the way anyone ever wanted.

Your a Hero,A soldier,A friend,A uncle,A Son,A Brother...etc

Its true,hero's R NEVER EVER FORGOTTEN..

Some gave Some....

SOME GAVE ALL..

The time well pass by,and they say it gets easier..Time heals all wounds right? Well its been this long already and I still miss u so much..Just as much as I did the day you left this earth

February 24th,2009...

But You went down fighting and I and no ONE ELSE well ever forget so THANK YOU&KNOW I LOVE YOU,I MISS YOU AND ILL NEVER FORGET..<3

Hog Days

Welcome to A Tradition Kewanee Style :)

Where I'm from Labor day is called Hog Days,sounds hilarious right?

We are known in Illinois for being the Hog Capital of the world.

So Hog days it is..I used to LOVE hog days,the parade,the cotton Candy,the apple cider slush's,the Elephant Ears,The Corn dogs and most importantly the Pork Chop sandwich's. I also loved getting away from my family for the weekend and not having to worry about school.Hanging with my girls because my dad would be out with his friends and my mom would be up at the bars hanging with all her classmates and the girls she hung around with,it was a tradition,her girls would return home for the annual hog days!From the Rides,to the Cardi rats lol! and the food it was all fun!!

I haven't been to a hog days in 7 years and every year I hear how it was so much fun,the rides,the food the bar hopping...

So I'm going to explain to you how good old Hog Days came around...
At one time Kewanee IL had more hogs in the area than people. Farmers produced hogs in this fertile region often on pasture. The days of confinement systems have changed some things, but the area's hog heritage has not been forgotten. Each Labor Day there is a whole weekend of activities. Hog Days, the biggest festival in Henry County, began as a simple barbecue to commemorate a proclamation. on Saturday, September 20, 1947, the USDA declared officially that Henry County was the "top hog" so to speak in America when it came to pork production. A barrow show was held to find the best hog of the many in the area, when farmers made a living raising hogs. On 1949, March 23rd to be exact, that the Illinois House of Representatives unanimously passed House Resolution 40 declaring Henry County and Kewanee the Hog Capital Of The World, a resolution introduced by Frank P. Johnson R-Kewanee. The festival is highlighted by the world's largest outdoor pork chop BBQ - massive grills are set up for grilling yummy pork chops and butterfly pork chop sandwiches for the thousands of guests that crowd into the small town every year. Chop sandwiches are $3 each and pork patties just $1 - be prepared as lines are long near meal times!! A carnival is set up on the downtown streets; there's a large parade with floats, horses, officials and entries of a wide variety that happens on Saturday each year. Featuring the world's largest outdoor pork barbecue (grilling over 25 thousand butterfly pork chops and pork patties) as well as a huge flea market/craft show, carnival for the kids, tractor pull competition, model T rally, 4 mile fitness run (better known as the "hog stampede"), live stage shows, softball tourney and one of the largest parades in downstate Illinois...there's something going on almost all the time day and night Friday through Monday of Labor Day weekend. It's our way of gathering together with family and friends like you to celebrate and say good-bye to one season while getting ready for the next.Concieved in the 1940's and offically established in 1954.Kewanee's end of summer celebration has never missed a labor day weekend in 56 years.

Second group of soldiers home safe&sound

Welcome Home Soldiers

Tonight was the second group of soldiers that returned home after more then a year over in Afghanistan.I sat and watched the video online,and seeing the soldiers coming off the bus,was bitter sweet,and I realized Schuyler isn't going to be there..It wasn't fair,he would never be walking off that bus again,As I started to cry... I realized and started saying to myself hes safe now,He don't want me to cry any more.So I Stopped because his buddies his friends,were all home safe and sound,and he was safe..He would no longer be hurt.So Welcome home soldiers,thank you for all you do,Its a hard job but thank you for protecting your home,your families,and all of our families.WELCOME HOME..

As I sat there watching the 10pm news from my home town,and anticipating the soldiers return,I just sat there..thinking if only 6 months ago wasn't true..You never really think of all the bad things that go on in your life,or the hurt,you try to live your life everyday like if it were you last,.

But you really don't think about living everyday like that to your fullest tell tragedy hits,at least I didn't.I used to say that I can sleep when I'm dead and that sleep isn't all that important,and part of me still believes that,But a girl needs her beauty rest..

When Schuyler died 6m ago,I said that I would change..I would be me,smiles,hugs,a happy heart and Id start having my life back I wouldn't let the hours I work put me down,or keep me from my friends and parties I hated missing..But here I am 6 months later..I work stupid hours and I sleep all day and work all night,a life? Not even close,would Schuyler be disappointed... ya he'd be yelling at me right now saying Heather..Get up stop sleeping,go out party on your days off,It's Vegas baby..You always got something to do !

But I'm no longer going to dwell on the past,Schuyler might be gone..Hell a lot of soldiers over the past few years with this war have never made it home,Its hard and I know that I'm not the only one that's hurting inside.. But I'm going to remember them,Never forget them,and be thankful that I still have time for my family and my friends,and to have a life again,,so again to all the soldiers living and passed on thank you,For all that you are doing,have done or well do.GOD BLESS R SOLDIERS.