9 years

Today's weather is fitting for this day,they say time heals all wounds, But i've come to realize it doesn't necessarily heal you,but pushes away some of that pain you well start to cry less,wonder about them less and maybe even speak of them less,but you don't miss the any less,and you don't wish they were by your side any less 9 years ago Schuyler was taken away from his family and his friends and everyone that knew him some days. It feels like just 2 days ago I was talking to him,other days it feels like hes been gone forever.I still miss him, I still wish he was here and I still love him as much as I did then,but Im Doing what he would want ..Living my life I may not speak your name as often and I may not cry as much as I did but there well forever be part in my heart that's always yours I love you Schuyler and I miss you always.

As I sit and type that on Facebook I want to go in my head, and pull every memory I've ever gotten to share with you, But I pause, because slowly im forgetting those memories like I have them hidden them away so I cant remember them, a part of me wonders if Im doing that because my heart is tired of breaking,but then I think he would be saying to me Heather I told you not to wait for me, I want you to live your life,even if that means without me.
I said Schuyler I am living my life and don't say that, cause I cant imagine a life without you, he said he would be something I always had to keep in my mind and ya he was right, But Its not any easier, life without him is hard, but Im living my life the way he would say go live you life they deserve to see that smile.

Some days that Smile is hard to come across my face,some days sadness and tears are easier, but I get through it just like I have for the past 9 years, and as much as it hurts, I well keep that going for as long as I am here on earth.

Today I got the news 9 years ago, and even though a piece of me heart well forever be broken by that news,.
 I well always Love you I well always Miss you and I well always remember you.